Day x+3: Breathe

I start to take notice of my breath.

I pay attention to how it feels inside my chest, where the lungs are.

I associate this soothing feeling in my trachea and the expansion of my chest with becoming bigger, calmer and refreshed.

I like to sense the subtle tinglings spreading down through my legs, in perfect rhythm with my breath.

When I breathe in, I feel my body is feeding me with what I so essentially need, what I cannot live without any second, and what I so often ignore and forget. How could I have ever forgotten that I was breathing, I was always breathing?! If my body had trusted my mind to control the breathing, I would have died long time ago.

To sustain life automatically, no matter others understand or not. I embrace this ancient wisdom of life, and I spread my gratitude through my body with the breath of life. Thank you for keeping me alive, my body, you are so amazing!

When I breathe out, I release all the tension, worries, judgements and pain. Let them flow out, and let them go.

Then my mind becomes empty. I can slowly focus on an immense empty space behind my eyes. I call it my sky.

I like to see my thoughts coming and passing through my sky. I like to feel gentle with whatever I am experiencing, like a loving mother.

I like to tell my judgments that, it is ok that you exist. This makes it easier for me to stop blaming myself for being judgemental, not bright or brave enough, or for getting too quickly offended. By simply observing my opinions and judgements, I feel I can stand out from my perspective, and see there are endless possibilities. Does not matter how much pain and sufferings you had endured, it is always up to you to forgive and heal and come out from the shadow, now.

I like to remind myself with every breath, that time is not linear. There is only one moment, the moment of now. And our life is consist of moments of breaths of now.

Maybe I have absolutely nothing with you in common, but I can still relate to you in the feeling of breathing. I can tell you how good I feel when I breathe, and you will agree with me.

Please leave a comment if you disagree 🙂

Day x+2: Trees

Why are trees so beautiful?

Why do I feel so inspired when I am close to them, breathing in what they breathe out, sensing the subtle exchange of the magic particles in the air.

Why do I feel so much love and generosity, when I am hugging them, as if I can hear their heartbeats and enjoy the gentleness of their skin.

I went for a walk in the park today. As I walked into the shelter of tree’s hug, as if I tasted the smell of their immensity, I said to myself:”Wow, they really have so much to give!” Then I looked up, I realised I started to see them as giants on an unmeasurable consciousness level, who live longer than us, have stronger social networks and perfectly understand the way of life.

Why do you think Buddha attained enlightenment exactly under a tree?

I remember how much I love to climb the Longan tree in front of our house when I was small. It felt so special to just sit there between the branches, searching for hidden fruits behind the leaves, watching the ants crawling on my legs, and engulfing all the scents and sounds that the tree offered me.

I remember how inexplicably shaken I felt, when I saw a tall pine tree fell down. It made a deep sound when it hit the ground, and broke the monotone growl of the chainsaw. I thought to myself: it’s like the fall of a hero. I lost control of my heartbeat and streams of hot tears.

I remember how deeply I love the fact that my grandfather is buried under a tall tree in the mountains, together with his parents. I feel the tree perfectly embodies my grandfather’s spirit: dignified, elegant, humble and wise.

Have you ever noticed that our cerebellum looks just like a tree? Whatever this possibly can mean, I really love this idea.

Day x+1: Hello world

Hi, I am back

Thank you for bringing me back

Thank you for breathing through me, feeling through me, shining through me

and letting me finally sense you again

Thank you for bringing all these memories back

all the moments that reflect your beauty, wisdom and immensity

Thank you for planting the seed in me, and letting me grow

in my own beautiful way

in everyone’s beautiful way

I came back, and saw you in the running water

in the waving trees

in people’s eyes

and in my heart

Thank you for being right here with me, with my every breath

and you make me feel so home

Thank you for giving me this superpower called life.

Day 91: Tropical rain

The heat has reached a ruthless level. Everything and everyone were waiting for the mercy to arrive. Then it came, with its dramatic sounds and actions, immersed the entire island in this million-year-old ritual.

Cecília told me that her grandma is from the Ecuadorian amazon and since little she had learned how to appreciate the power of the rain. When the first drops suddenly hit us, she joyfully raised up her arms towards the sky and welcomed the divine. I looked at her cordial smile, and looked at the umbrella in my hand, then heard a voice inside me saying: fuck it! The next moment, I was already 200% wet.

It’s not my first time to walk in the rain, but this time I can say I was really enjoying all the sensations: the smell, the surround sound, the splashing rhythm on my skin, the view beyond the rain curtains over my eyes. It touched the surface and went deeper. It felt like a massage for the soul ❤

So since when we started to flee from rain? Why do we have to protect ourselves from this universal embrace that refuses no one? I found myself one step closer to everything, when I stopped seeing myself as different. If the trees and birds can enjoy, why can’t we.

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Day 86: Flying with sea turtles

Yes, I went flying underwater with my newest best friend, Red Marble, the majestic sea turtle.

I met him in the shallow water of Punta Carola. His shell is bigger than an umbrella and has red-orange marble marks on it that look like fireworks. His eyes are from the starry sky, and full of emotions that I felt I could read.

The moment I saw him I found myself literally crying with happy tears behind the snorkeling mask, and shouting into the snorkeling tube:”Ahhh! You!! Ohhh!! So beautiful!! I love you!! Don’t go away! Wait for me!!!” Maybe he didn’t understand and maybe he was annoyed by my frantic love, but he was kind enough to allow me following him all the way.

He took me for rounds and rounds between the big rocks, to visit his fishy friends, yellow-lip-babe, blue-shine-giant and the silver-gangs. He went up and down, waving his arms like angel’s wings and looked back at me from time to time, to ensure my swim posture isn’t too awkward to embarrass him. He showed me how he likes to scratch his neck on the rocks, and how good he is at handstand! He let me touch his back and his legs, but refused my attempt to kiss him on the cheek. I told him I’d love to go home with him, absolutely true. I risked sunburn on top of sunburn, just to stay with him as long as possible. Before he departed, he led me to see his family and his baby turtle, Gold Marble. What a gorgeous precious baby! A bit bigger than a basketball, shining with the deepest power of the Pacific ocean.

I still can’t figure out how they’ve decided to grow into such gracefully beautiful creatures. In water, only by looking at him, I knew exactly where the waves were coming and going, because we’d moved in the exact same way, because we were subject to the exact same force. Only when you have flied in the same wave with sea turtles and hundred other fishes of extraterrestrial beauty, you live with the realisation, that we, all the living beings on this planet, are together, as one. ❤

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(I didn’t have equipment to take underwater pictures. So here is one from Google Image, Red Marble’s celebrity look-alike.)